Arashikage Home Videos
by Kusari-Gama 61602
Summary: Videos of lil' Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow, from their meeting up to Hard Master's death. Scarlett and Junko discover a box full of videos and decide to watch them. Turns out, little ninjas can be... strange. AU. Crack. Snake/Scarlett Storm/Junko.
1. A Gaijin's Arrival

**Author's Note:** This was one _vicious_ plotbnny. Fluff, silliness, crack, and AU. My AU is heavily influenced by Rise of Cobra, since that is how I got into the fandom. Yes, I now know that the movie wasn't actually that good. Retaliation BETTER BE GOOD.

Also, I've decided that Snake-Eyes' former name is Ray as a homage to Ray Park. Because admit it - Ray Park and Lee Byung-Hun did a spectacular job portraying Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow in RoC.

Enjoy! :D

* * *

The Arashikage compound was as busy as ever. Women gossiped as they rolled bun after bun of some kind of Japanese treat. The ninjas were either repairing parts of the compound or patrolling the perimeter. The ninja apprentices were armed with brooms or paintbrushes, helping to touch up the place. Little children squealed with excitement as they chased each other, their mouths sticky with mochi and their hands full of paper cranes they'd folded.

Scarlett laughed and shook her head slowly. She swore - the clan was more excited about tomorrow's wedding than the soon-to-be newlyweds were.

Speaking of newlyweds...

She held out her left hand, admiring the ring on her finger. Her own wedding was only a few months away, and even though she was very happy for Junko and Tommy, she was impatient for her own special day.

Poor Snake. Storm had just decided one day that it was high-time Snake asked for her hand again. The black-clad man hadn't been prepared at all, thinking that she didn't want to marry him after he left her at the altar. It took the combined efforts of Storm, Junko, and Jinx to drag the panicked ninja to a very amused Scarlett. Needless to say, it was the first time she'd ever seen a mute man truly speechless.

A pair of black arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Scarlett smiled and leaned back against her fiancé. "Morning, Snake. Shouldn't you be helping Storm?" She ran her fingers over his bare cheek. It had been almost two months since Snake-Eyes had had reconstructive facial surgery, but she still wasn't completely used to his new face. It had been a daunting task for the surgeons, but they had managed to give him most of his face back. Almost all of his scars were gone, and his face was smoother overall, but some still stopped and stared at him. Scarlett hadn't been happy, but Snake was just grateful that nobody had run away screaming.

He lifted his hands to sign in front of her. _[Don't feel like it. It was his idea to invite the masters of friendly clans. I'm not a people person.]_

"Well, you should go help him anyway." She pinched his cheek even though she knew he could barely feel it. "He is your sword brother, after all. If you don't help, he might see it as an excuse to return the disservice on our wedding day."

Snake sighed audibly and stared at her with wide, doleful eyes. Scarlett groaned. Somehow, despite being ninja masters, Storm and Snake could both pull off a kicked puppy look whenever they wanted. Maybe it was a ninja thing - _when all else fails, give the enemy your most pitiful look_.

On second thought, that wouldn't work. Ninjas would rather die than surrender.

"Don't look at me like that." She crossed her arms.

Snake's shoulders slumped. _[Fine,]_ he signed reluctantly. _[I'll go help Tommy. You?]_

"Actually, I've been looking for Junko." Scarlett took a moment to glance around, in case the woman decided to appear out of nowhere. 'Speak of the devil' was most often true for ninjas. "Have you seen her?"

The ninja laughed his silent laughter. _[She's looking for an Arashikage heirloom. Guest bedroom. Five steps west of the bed. Trapdoor under rug. There's a concealed door to the right after you drop in. Watch your head. Bring a flashlight.]_

Scarlett smiled. "Thanks, Snake." She planted an innocent kiss on his cheek before heading towards the main building.

The concealed door was, not surprisingly, hard to find. She ended up yanking and pushing on nearly every panel on the right wall while praying that none of them triggered a deadly trap of some sort. In the end, the bottom-most panel gave in, and a door swung open silently.

The room was rather small and dark, she noted, as she stepped inside. The interior was filled with scrolls, cabinets, boxes, and vases, and the air smelled stale. Intrigued, Scarlett shined the flashlight around until the beam of light landed on a familiar red figure digging into a box.

"Junko?" she whispered.

The former geisha whirled around, looking like a child who had just been caught taking a cookie from the cookie jar. In place of the cookie, though, was a video cassette in her hand.

"Junko, what are you doing?" Scarlett looked around the room. "Snake told me that you were down here looking for a heirloom or something."

"I was." Junko was trying to look bashful, but her smirk ruined it. "And I found it." She held up a jeweled hairpin.

"Then what is that?" Scarlett gestured toward the cassette.

The smile on Junko's face grew. "This," she said, a hint of triumph in her voice, "is only one of a series of Arashikage home videos."

Ninjas? With home videos? Scarlett couldn't help but chuckle. "I thought ninjas didn't like leaving any trace of their existence."

"They don't, but that doesn't mean they don't have footage of precious moments." Junko indicated towards a box. "That's why they're all down here - where nobody but the Arashikage family knows."

Scarlett eyed the box with interest. "Do you think there's some footage of Snake-Eyes?"

"I don't think so. I know so." Junko tucked the hairpin into a pocket as she bent over. A small 'oomph' escaped her as she lifted the box. "After all, didn't Snake-Eyes join the Arashikage at age..."

"Six." Scarlett finished for her as she glanced inside. "Jesus. They're even in chronological order." She pulled out the first videotape. "'Ray's Arrival'," she read out loud.

"Ray is Snake-Eyes, right?"

"Shhh!" The redhead pressed a finger to the other woman's lips. "Nobody is supposed to know that."

Junko shrugged. "Just confirming," she whispered, before both women burst into giggles.

* * *

It was easy enough, finding a video cassette player. All Junko had to do was poke her head into Storm's office and cheerfully ask where one was. The Phoenix Master had been too busy alternating between juggling three phones and answering questions from clan members such as, "Is this the shade of white you want?" or "Do you want the children to stay with their families or sit in a separate group?" to give much thought to his beloved's question.

Fifteen minutes later, she and Scarlett were reclining comfortably on a couch in one of the more soundproof rooms.

"So, do you want to start from the beginning or do you want to jump around a bit?" Junko looked through the cassettes, quietly scanning the titles.

"Why not both?" Scarlett still had "Ray's Arrival" in her hand. "We can go chronologically, then when we find an interesting one, we can watch that one before moving on."

"That works." Junko eyed her friend's selection. "I have a feeling you want to watch that first."

Scarlett turned the cassette over carefully. "I want to see Snake as a child. Sounds adorable."

The Asian woman laughed. "Same for me with Tommy." She made a sweeping gesture towards the television in front of them. "Go on, then. Put it in."

The player made a small whirring noise as it accepted the videotape. Scarlett scrambled back into the couch. "Shouldn't you be making plans for tomorrow?"

Junko snorted. "Screw that. I'm the bride. I do what I want, and if I want to see my husband-to-be as a little kid, then that's what I'm going to do."

All the redhead could do was laugh.

* * *

_:Commencing Video:_

Tommy grabbed the video camera from a nearby table as he scurried towards the Arashikage infirmary. Last night, when he had gone to the kitchen for a bedtime snack, he'd found a boy about his age reaching toward a plate of leftover rice. Thinking to stop the thief, Tommy had attacked him. He hadn't stopped until his uncle, the Soft Master, arrived. The stranger had had taken quite a beating at the hands of the ninja-in-training, with blood streaming down his head from several cuts on his forehead, but he was still standing - something Tommy couldn't help but admire once he found out that the boy was starving.

Ray set down the empty bowl as soon as he heard the door sliding open. Despite the events of yesterday, he felt strangely content. He had woken up in a warm bed with clean clothes, bandaged wounds, and food. After running and hiding from police for over a month, it felt nice to be comfortable for once. Now, his attacker was standing in front of him, holding a... video camera?

He watched with mild interest as the boy placed the camera on the table, with the lens pointing towards him, and pressed the red record button. "Ohayo, gaijin," Tommy chirped happily as he hoisted himself up onto the edge of the bed.

Ray blinked. "What?" His throat felt scratchy and sore.

"What?"

"What?"

"What what?"

"What did you say?"

Tommy swung his legs back and forth. "Good morning. No Japanese?"

"No."

"Then I speak English!" The six-year old puffed out his chest proudly. "I learn from my uncles!"

Well, that was a relief. His attacker at least knew a bit of English. "What is the camera for?"

"Huh?" Tommy looked confused. Ray pointed to the camera on the table. "Oh! Um... First time, gaijin come here. Gaijin... ah... aliens, never come here. It's important, today." He suddenly looked remorseful. "Sorry for last night. I thought you are thief."

"It's alright. I'm sorry for breaking in." The boy paused to lightly touch the bandage on his forehead. "I got what I deserved."

"No touch!" Tommy hissed, grabbing Ray's wrist. "You want infection!?"

"No, no, no. O-of course not." He winced as he pried his wrist free. The guy had a killer grip. "What's your name?"

"Name?" Tommy tilted his head.

"Yes. Name."

"... Name! Yes, of course." He pointed to himself. "Arashikage Tomisaburo! And you?"

"Um..." Ray looked dazed. He had only caught the 'Tomi' part. "I'm Ray. Nice to meet you, uh... To... Tomi-"

"Tomisaburo," Tommy repeated, smiling a little. Of course - he had forgotten that gaijin tongues weren't flexible enough to pronounce Japanese names. "You can call Tommy."

"Tommy." The boy looked hilariously relieved. "And your last name?"

"Arashikage. It means 'Storm Shadow'."

Storm Shadow. Ray slumped ever-so-slightly. Now that was a cool last name.

"And yours?"

He shot back up. "I... I, um, I don't have a last name."

Tommy looked shocked beyond belief. "No last NAME? No legacy? No family?"

"No family." Ray looked away. He could feel tears stinging in his eyes, and a familiar lump settled in his throat. "They're dead. Car crash. We were on vacation here. Only I survived. I didn't want another family, so I ran."

"Dead," Tommy murmured thoughtfully. "My father, alive. My mother, dead too."

The blond boy turned back around, his eyes round. "... Oh. I'm sorry."

The Asian shook his head so hard his black hair whipped his forehead. "Do not be. Long time ago." His own dark eyes met Ray's. "... You have water eyes."

"... Water eyes?"

"Yes. I have night eyes. I see at night. Can you see in water?"

Ray scratched his head. "Uh... as long as it's well-lit, I guess. Why is that so impor..." he trailed off when Tommy leaned very, very close to him. His eyes were wide with wonder. "Um... Tommy?"

"... I LIKE YOUR EYES!" A happy grin spread across his face.

Ray blinked rapidly, hopelessly confused. Why was he acting as if blue eyes were such a big... Oh. Right. He had never seen a _gaijin_ - a foreigner - before. "... Thanks? You, uh, you have... pretty eyes too."

Having resumed his usual sitting position, the young Arashikage heir beamed. "Thank you. I have my mother's eyes, my uncles say. They say she is beautiful." He frowned. "When alive."

Awkward silence hung between the two children, during which Ray had more than enough time to fully process that Tommy said that his mother was, "beautiful when alive," instead of "was beautiful when she was alive."

"Where will you go?" he finally asked, resting his chin in his hand.

Ray shrugged. "Somewhere. I'll keep on hiding, I guess."

"You have no family. No father. No mother."

"Yeah, I know."

"I have no mother - only my uncles and my father."

"... Yes, you told me that."

"Do you have brother?"

Ray shook his head. "No. I had a twin sister who loved to torment me."

Tommy grinned and, without a moment of hesitation, hugged Ray tightly. "Then I will be your brother. The Arashikage, your family. You can stay here."

Cautiously, the boy hugged his new-found friend back. "Thank you, but I-"

"Do you have somewhere to go?" Tommy sounded a little irritated. After feeling Ray shake his head, his voice returned to cheerful, child-like optimism. "Now you have last name. Arashikage."

Ray Arashikage. It sounded so ridiculous Ray had to hide his laughter in his sleeve.

_:Finish Video:_

* * *

As usual, thanks to Greentigerr for her edits.


	2. The Name Snake-Eyes

**Author's Note:** This chapter features CrystalOfEllinon's OC, Sherry Takenawa, who had a past relationship with Storm Shadow. GO READ HER STORIES. Also, I'm not sure what Sherry's favorite treat would be (I'm assuming cherry cordials) so... I kinda left that part blank. Any ideas? Hints?

* * *

"Phoenix Master?"

"Yes?" Storm didn't even glance at the ninja standing before him. His pen flew as he scribbled something down on a notepad.

"Miss Takenawa is here. I assume you want to greet her?"

"Uhhh..." The phone rang, and he immediately picked it up. "Arashikage, how may I help you? Uh huh... uh huh... I assure you, Master Okinawa, that you won't need bodyguards. Excuse me for a moment." He placed a hand over the mouthpiece and - finally - looked at the ninja. "I'm a little busy. Get Silent Master to greet her. I'll be there in a bit."

"Yes, Master." The ninja bowed before slipping out of the room.

Meanwhile, Sherry stumbled out of the helicopter, blinking rapidly. In order to keep their location secret, the Arashikage required a full body search of all visitors before they were blindfolded and transported to the compound. Sure, she knew that it was for the clan's safety and all, but damn, after what felt like forever on the chopper, she couldn't see a thing after getting off.

"Hello?" She rubbed her eyes. "Tommy? Snake-Eyes? Anybody?"

There was a gentle tap on her shoulder. Gentle, yes. Unexpected, hell yes. She shot up in the air, shrieking, before landing hard on her feet. "What the hell, Snake-Ey-" She blinked. Rubbed her eyes again. Blinked.

Okay, the man in front her was definitely not Snake-Eyes.

"S-sorry..." she mumbled, looking uncomfortably up at the blond man. He only tilted his head slightly, his blue eyes boring into hers. She'd never seen a shade of blue so icy, or so vaguely creepy.

Dang it. Her first few minutes at the Arashikage compound and she's already made a bad impression. "I thought you were Sna- er - the Silent Master. I'm sorry." She dug her toe into a crack between two stone tiles.

To her surprise, the man lifted his hands to carefully sign, _[Don't be. You're correct.]_

Her eyes nearly popped out and her jaw hit the ground. Not literally, of course... but it sure felt like it. "Snake?! What the heck? I thought your face was-" She broke the sentence off and immediately bit her lower lip.

_[Reconstructive facial surgery.]_ Snake's eyes shone a little. All it did was make Sherry want to stare more. _[What do you think?]_

Well, since he asked, she supposed she was allowed to have a closer look. "... It's... different," she finally said after a few minutes of contemplation. "You actually look like a normal person instead of a kick-ass ninja."

His shoulders shook with silent laughter. _[Right, because normal people have surgical scars on their faces.]_

Seeing the ninja laugh helped Sherry relax, though the soundless quivering of his shoulders looked stranger without a mask hiding his expression. She exhaled in relief. "Where's Tommy?"

_[Pulling together last-minute preparations.]_ He walked with her towards the main building. Sherry couldn't help but grin when adults and children alike stopped what they were doing to bow to them. It made her four-foot-eleven self feel taller.

"So, this is what it feels like to be a ninja master," she smirked. "Junko is going to be one lucky girl."

"She already is." A voice said right behind her. "After all, she has me."

She jumped again, yelping. "Tommy!" she gasped. "Jesus! Sneaking up on guests is not nice!" Frowning, she turned to Snake-Eyes and jabbed a finger against his arm. "And YOU! Why didn't you warn me? You must have known he was coming."

_[Short people are fun to scare.]_ Snake signed casually. _[It's funny seeing them jump half their height.]_

"You say it's funny, yet you're not laughing." Sherry couldn't help but point out.

_[I was laughing about two minute ago,]_ he signed, but the comment rewarded her with a ghost of a smile from the mute man.

"For goodness' sake, brother, have you forgotten how to smile in public?" Storm took the corners of Snake's mouth and pulled up and out. Snake narrowed his eyes in response, but did nothing to stop him. After about a minute of fiddling with Snake's face, Storm stepped back. Both he and Sherry immediately winced.

"Forget it." Storm pressed against Snake's cheeks to get him to stop smiling. "I'd rather have you not smiling and looking like my badass ninja brother than smiling and looking like you're going to eviscerate everybody in the room." At Snake's scowl, he backed up, holding both hands up innocently. "I speak the truth."

Sherry nudged Storm with her elbow. "Be quiet. Snake, you look fine. Gosh, Storm, you're the only ninja I know who needs to be told to shut up."

Her comment went unnoticed as the white ninja flipped out a cell phone she didn't hear go off. He brought it up to his mouth. "Yes? Yes... yes... of course. Hold for a moment." Storm glanced at the two. "I have business to take care of." He waved dismissively. "Shoo. Scat. Get out of my sight. Go roam the compound and make sure nobody is dying."

Snake rolled his eyes and took Sherry by the elbow as he walked away. The pilot sniffed deeply. "... Food?" Her eyebrows rose.

_[Yes. Are you hungry?]_ Snake took a small loaf of bread from the tray of a passing woman. The woman's face lit up in a smile and she bowed deeply.

Sherry eyed the still-steaming bread. "It does smell good," she admitted as she took the food. Without another second of hesitation, she sank her teeth into it and bit off a piece. "Hmm..." She chewed thoughtfully. "It's not taco pizza, but it's tasty." She took another bite before staring at the bread. "Am I going to get sick from this?"

_[Depends. Are you going to gorge yourself?]_

He didn't get a response. Her eyes were fixed on something behind him, and her mouth hung open. Secretly, he was grateful that she at least remembered to swallow beforehand. Curious, he looked behind him, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Just some women bringing out boxes of-

… Oh.

Right.

"Good lord." Sherry muttered as she made a beeline for her target. "Thank you, Tommy."

* * *

_::Commencing Video::_

Tommy dug through the box, mumbling quietly to himself as he went on tip-toes to dig further. Ray watched nearby, curious, but mostly contemplating whether he should grab the Arashikage by the ankles and flip him in. Five seconds later, he decided against the idea. It has been almost a week since his arrival, and Tommy had been nothing but friendly the entire time. He didn't want to possibly offend his newfound friend. Or risk getting attacked again.

"I found!" The kid wriggled out of the box. Straightening up, he adjusted his kimono and fixed his messed-up hair before proudly holding up a roll of...

"Duct tape?" Ray raised an eyebrow. "What do you need duct tape for?"

"Ooh, duck tape? Is called duck tape?" Tommy frowned at the roll. "Does not look like duck."

"No, no, no. Duct tape. Not duck tape." He made a harsh _'ck'_ sound in his throat to emphasize the difference.

"Ohhhhhh. Duck tape," Tommy said, looking pleased with himself. Ray rubbed his face tiredly.

"Alright. What do you want me t-" His sentence was cut short as the roll of tape was shoved into his hands. "T-Tommy?"

His friend was precariously balancing a video camera on his head - the same one, Ray recognized, that had been on the infirmary table a week ago. A small red light shone close to the record button. "Tape around." Tommy drew a large circle from under his chin to the top of the camera with one finger.

"What are you doing?" Ray sputtered.

Tommy glared at him defiantly. "What I do is not _gaijin's_ worry."

"Fine, fine." He grimaced as he taped the end to his chin and began looping the tape around the camera and back down. "You know this is going to hurt when you take it off, right?"

"I do not fear pain." Tommy didn't flinch when Ray carefully peeled back a bit of tape he had accidentally applied crookedly.

It took a while - and a considerable amount of duct tape - before the Arashikage heir was satisfied with Ray's work. The blond struggled not to laugh as Tommy jumped, nodded, and flailed wildly. "You know it's still recording, right?"

"Yes, I do know. I was... testing." He gingerly felt around the camera taped to his head. "Is still going?"

Ray nodded. "What do you plan on recording?"

The grin the boy gave him was worrying. "You will see, _gaijin_." He flicked a tuft of Ray's blond hair before climbing over a nearby windowsill. All Ray could do was shake his head slowly at the sight of the little Asian boy running wildly away.

He was gone for only half an hour, but by the time he returned, Ray was alternating between walking in circles and counting the squares of the _shoji_. "Ray." Tommy smiled in greeting.

His eyebrows shot up. "What? No _'gaijin'_? What's going on?"

The boy held up his left arm, which was encased in a bag. "Ray not your name."

"Uh... yes, it is. Ray is my name." Ray backed away a little, suspicious of both Tommy's behavior and whatever the bag was hiding. While doing so, he glanced up. The video camera was still recording.

"I have picked new name." Tommy sat down and began fiddling with the item in the bag. "You need Japanese name."

He was, Ray had to admit, right. The name 'Ray Arashikage' sounded a little better out loud than it did in his mind, especially when Tommy's uncles said it, but a Japanese last name practically begged for a Japanese first name. "Well?" he asked cautiously. "What did you pick for me?"

"Hebi no Me," Tommy answered without hesitation.

Ray blinked. "... What? Heebie what?"

"Hebi. No 'heebie'."

He swallowed hard, closing his eyes and willing his tongue to work. "... Hebi," he finally said, carefully.

Tommy nodded. "Good. Hebi no Me. You know what means?"

"I'm afraid to ask," was the muttered reply.

"It means 'Eye of the Serpent'. Serpent Eye. Snake-Eyes."

"... Snake-Eyes?" Ray gave a shudder. "Sounds terrifying."

"Supposed to be."

"Why did you pick that name for me? Snake-Eyes. It makes me sound like I'm going to stare somebody to death."

"You are." Then, as calmly as can be, Tommy dropped the bag on the floor. Ray froze, his eyes fixed on the long, coiling figure on his arm.

"... A SNAKE?" he shrieked. His entire body tensed, and he could have sworn he felt the blood freezing in his veins. "You... brought a snake into the house?"

"He looks like you!" Tommy said innocently as he grabbed the snake behind the head. The animal didn't even move. It looked extremely groggy.

"It's about to shed," Ray croaked, shaking in fear. "That's why its eyes are milky-blue. My eyes aren't like that."

The boy frowned and turned the snake so that it was looking at him. "It looks like you still. Eyes make me remember you."

"Hebi no Me? Snake-Eyes? Me?"

"Your name will make people remember you. Blue eyes. Water eyes." Tommy suddenly grinned and held out the snake. "I name him Ray."

The sudden comment drained the majority of his fear. "... Very funny, Tommy." He frowned.

"It is funny! Snake is Ray. Ray is Snake." He started walking towards him. "Hold Ray!"

Ray held up both hands and resumed backing away. "No way."

"Yes way!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"He is friendly!"

"He's shedding, that's why!" Ray took off out the door, screaming, with Tommy in close pursuit.

Nearby, the Soft Master and the Hard Master watched the two running figures; one of which had something attached to his head. "Snake-Eyes," the Soft Master murmured. His brother chuckled.

"It's not a bad name for him. Tomisaburo might be onto something."

_::Finish Video::_

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**Reviews will be converted into carrots to feed plotbnnys :3**


	3. A Baby Cousin

**Author Note: Ayame, Fearless Master, and Misao belong to Karama9 and were used with permission. GO READ HER STORIES. Contact her if you want to use them. If you use them without permission, I will sic certain plot bunnies on you - the ones that crave blood. **

* * *

_::Commencing Video::_

"Is it on? Is it recording?" The Hard Master frowned as he turned the video camera over in his hands.

"Why are you asking me?" The Soft Master joined his brother. "I don't know how this works."

"What did Tomisaburo say?"

"He told me to push the red button!"

"Did you?"

"I did!"

"Okay. Then it's recording."

The Soft master frowned. "Are you _sure?_ This is important." He suddenly looked up when a small black figure walked across the room. "Hebi no Me!"

Snake-Eyes stopped in his tracks. There was a light patter as he ran over. "Yes, Soft Master?" he said in his usual quiet voice as he bowed deeply.

"Is this thing recording?" He held out the camera.

Snake took the camera and looked next to the lenses. "I'm pretty sure it is. The red light is on."

"Do you know how to use it?" A shake of the head. "Alright, then. Go get Tomisaburo. Tell him I request his presence."

The boy bowed again before hurrying out the door. Satisfied, the Soft Master turned to his brother and opened his mouth to speak.

Snake beat him to it. "TOOOMMY!" A uncharacteristically loud scream rang around the courtyard, drowning out the noise of a usual work-filled day.

The two masters exchanged a stunned look. A silence-filled minute passed before the Soft Master spoke slowly. "... Well... he has a strong set of lungs-"

He was once again interrupted when another yell ripped through the air. "WHAT? I can HEAR you just fine, you know? You DON'T have to yell!"

"They both do." The Hard Master beamed happily. "They'll do well in endurance training, you mark my words, brother."

"They're only eight years old," his brother said, a little irritated. "I thought we decided to have them focus on flexibility and speed until they reach their growing age. Then you can work them into the ground as many times as you wish."

"Soft Master wants to speak to you," Snake said, a lot quieter. The sound of a second pair of feet confirmed Tommy's arrival. After the usual small squabble that seemed to be their way of greeting each other, the two boys entered the room and bowed to the two masters.

"Tomisaburo." The Soft Master held out the camera. "Today is an important day. Make sure this is recording."

"Hm?" Tommy took the camera and turned it over in his hands. "It's recording." His face twisted into a thoughtful expression before suddenly lighting up. "Is it Aunt Misao?"

Soft Master sighed. "Yes, Tomisaburo. The baby was born late last night. Please, don't disturb her too much. She's still exhauste-"

The combination of rapid, excited chattering and two pairs of running feet quickly disappeared down the hallway. He barely caught Tommy saying something about him and Snake being the 'best cousins in the world'. The Soft Master sighed again, shaking his head slowly. "I'll go after them." He rolled to his feet, grunting quietly.

"Leave them be." The Hard Master chuckled as he sipped at his tea. "Misao adores them, anyway."

* * *

Misao's eyes fluttered open as the noise rapidly grew louder. Memories of last night's pain made her wince, and she reached up to tiredly rub at her face. She made a mental note to apologize to Healer for anything she might have said, thrown, or ripped during labor. It took a whole lot of patience - and great dodging skills - to help the women of a ninja clan give birth.

A small movement at her side made her turn. Warmth blossomed in her chest as she carefully took the tiny life form into her arms. "My baby, my darling baby," she crooned as she kissed the infant's soft, warm forehead. All the pain - all the waiting - was worth this little child. Her baby. Her love. Her life.

That was when she noticed that the noise had stopped. Frowning, she eyed the door suspiciously, daring whatever malevolent force may exist behind it to burst in and _try_ to harm her baby.

The door did, indeed, open, but slowly. A giggle slipped past her lips. Healer entered quietly, dragging two small forms behind him. "Keep your voices at a whisper." he half-snarled to the two. "You don't want to startle the baby."

"Yes, Healer," both boys whispered obediently.

Healer frowned, but let them go. "Misao..."

"I'll be fine. They just want to see the baby." Despite her words, she held the infant a little closer to her body.

"Aunt Misao! Baby cousin!" Tommy chirped as he ran towards Misao with Snake-Eyes hot on his heels.

"Whisper!" Healer hissed.

Misao couldn't hold back a smile as both boys slowed down. Tommy placed the video camera on the bedstand, with the lens facing her and the baby, and pressed the red record button. Snake-Eyes was at her right side, half on the bed with his feet still on the floor. His bright blue eyes were wide with wonder. Tommy soon joined him. She affectionately ruffled both of the boys' hair.

"Tommy, Snake-Eyes - this is Kimi Arashikage." She held the warm bundle just a little bit higher. The boys strained for a closer look.

"She's _pink!"_ Tommy exclaimed. Nearby on a spare stool, Healer flinched at the sound.

Snake-Eyes slapped a hand over his friend's mouth. "Shhh! You'll wake her up!"

Tommy pried his fingers off. "She's already awake. Look at her!" He indicated to the baby. Sure enough, two black eyes stared sleepily back at them. "Hello, little cousin," he whispered, giving a small wave.

Snake looked up at Misao. "Can she be my cousin too?" he asked. "I... I've always wanted a cousin."

Misao ran her fingers along his cheek. Foreigners were rarely seen around the area, and even fewer had his hair and eye color. Although he stuck out like a sore thumb, she had grown quite fond of him. "Of course," she murmured. "She can be your cousin."

Snake's expression brightened. "Thank you, Aunt Misao." With that, he joined Tommy in waving at the new baby.

Kimi blinked several times, her young eyes unfocused and her sight blurry. She saw something - two somethings - flashing in front of her. She squirmed, unsure what to make of this phenomenon, before deciding that the somethings wanted to hurt her.

Snake and Tommy clamped their hands over their ears as Kimi began crying, shrill and loud. Her little mouth was wide open, and her eyes had all but disappeared. Misao responded by rocking her and holding her tighter.

Healer immediately stood up and strode over. "Boys, out!" He grabbed them by the back of their shirts and dragged them towards the door. On the way, he snatched the video camera off of the table.

"What did I do?!" Tommy struggled. "Leggo! I wanna see the baby!"

"You scared the baby - that's what. I told you to whisper!" Healer fought to maintain his grip. At least Snake-Eyes wasn't resisting. "And you already saw her. Come back tomorrow, when Misao has regained her strength."

"What? Why? Aunt Misao!"

Misao gave a tired smile. "I do feel a little weak. Thank you for visiting me, though."

Tommy scowled, but reluctantly followed Healer out. "Goodbye, Aunt Misao. Snake-Eyes and I will come back tonight with cake."

Snake-Eyes sputtered in surprise. "But I don't know how to bake."

"We'll learn!"

"Oh, no you won't." Healer handed him the video camera. "Misao is on a special diet to make sure her milk is as healthy as possible for her baby. You can give her or the baby a gift, though. Now, run along. Your aunt needs her tea."

"Oh. Okay!" Tommy grabbed Snake by the sleeve and dragged him away. "Bye, Healer!"

Healer sighed and rubbed at his eyes tiredly "Bye, Tomisaburo. Don't get into too much trouble." He turned on his heel and walked back to the bed. It was bad enough that he had gotten no sleep last night. He really didn't need two hyperactive boys bouncing around the newborn.

The sight before him helped ease some of the stress. Kimi had stopped crying, and was sleeping contentedly again in her mother's arms. Healer smiled. Moments like this helped reassure him that he wouldn't regret becoming the physician of this god-forsaken ninja clan. To add to his improving mood, Misao's aim wasn't as good as Ayame's had been. He still wasn't sure how Tommy's late mother had managed to pull a throwing spike out of thin air after he and the Fearless Master disarmed her. He thought that wives in labour threw things at their _husbands_ - not at the doctors trying to help them. Nonetheless, he had worked on his dodging as soon as his shoulder had healed, and it paid off last night.

"Here." He handed Misao a cup of herbal tea. "This will help you sleep."

She took the cup with one hand and made a face after one sip. "Still no regard for taste, I see," she chuckled as she slowly drank.

"Medicine isn't supposed to taste good." He yawned. "It's medicine, not food."

"Speaking of sleep..." Misao placed the empty cup on the bedstand. "You should get some. You look tired."

"Doctors are always tired." He dragged a stool to the bed and sat on it. He folded his arms on the bed and rested his head on them. "Especially doctors who have to deal with crazy ninjas everyday." His eyelids started to droop. "Wake me up if you need anything," he mumbled as he slipped into a much-needed nap.

Misao stroked his hair. "I hope I won't need to," she whispered, before looking at the doors. "Alright, boys, you can come in, but be quiet or else he'll wake up and chase you out."

Snake-Eyes and Tommy silently entered with the video camera, took one look at the sleeping man, and immediately covered their mouths to muffle their giggles. Misao held a finger to her lips in warning, but grinned anyways. Both boys slowly climbed onto the bed, their eyes darting between the baby in Misao's arms and Healer's slumbering form.

"Hello again, little cousin," Tommy murmured as he gently stroked Kimi's cheek with one finger. As expected, the baby turned her head towards him. "Healer is asleep, so I can talk to you now. Do you know who I am? I'm Tomisaburo - your cousin. Your other cousin is Snake-Eyes. He's a _gaijin_, but don't let that bother you. He's friendly enough. Once you're old enough, maybe he'll teach you _gaijin_-speak."

Misao chuckled quietly as Snake-Eyes scowled.

_::Finish Video::_

* * *

Special thanks to Greentigerr for being my editor.


	4. Attack on the Arashikage

**A/N:** Previous chapters have been altered to include Storm Shadow's father, who I've decided lives until later on...

* * *

_[Sherry, you should stop.] _

Sherry glanced at Snake-Eyes in between stuffing her mouth. "Why?"

_[You're here to attend a wedding, not gorge yourself sick.] _Snake reached over and plucked the cherry cordial from her fingers.

"I'm here to attend a wedding AND gorge myself sick. It's part of weddings." Sherry snatched the treat back and popped it into her mouth. "Mmm... I'm still surprised Junko managed to convince Tommy to allow sweets for a few days."

Snake-Eyes helped himself to a piece of candy. _[She didn't - _I _did.] _

She stopped chewing. "You did?"

The ninja gave her a crooked smile. _[I told Tommy that Junko wouldn't be happy if he served just healthy food.]_

Sherry laughed and almost choked. She covered her mouth and swallowed before speaking. "The bride always gets her way, even if she doesn't say a word."

_[It's called 'survival instincts'. I believe they are healthy to have.] _

"Nuh uh. You and Tommy lack them."

_[Not when it comes to women.] _

The pilot studied a cherry cordial intently. "True. Very true. But they're still below par. Remember that one day when Scarlett didn't get her morning coffee?"

He rolled his eyes. _[How could I forget.] _

"We all steered clear of her. Hell - even _Tommy _stayed away from her. But you, you kept around her even when she tried to skin you alive."

_[She wasn't going to kill me. My life wasn't in danger.] _

She rolled her eyes. "Love makes you do very strange things."

_[You don't need to tell me.] _

"Of course. You know firsthand." Sherry chuckled as she took a small cake and began eating it.

All Snake could do was shake his head. _[Tommy is going to be mad at you for eating so much.] _

"Let him get pissed. I'm hungry. Besides, I'm short; how much food can I possibly eat? Not much."

_[Liar. I saw how much taco pizza you can hold, and it's nowhere near 'not much'.]_

"But it's _taco pizza_. I actually enjoy eating those things!"

_[You like cherry cordials just as much.]_

"Yes, but it's not exactly something that will leave me feeling satisfied after I've filled my stomach with it!" Sherry scowled as she flicked a strand of Snake's hair. "I won't eat much - I promise."

Snake-Eyes glanced at the stack behind her. _[Sure. You just plowed through three boxes of that candy.]_

Sherry spun around, blinking in surprise. "... Oh, shit..."

* * *

_:Commencing Video:_

"Tomisaburo, Hebi no Me, come with me."

A rough hand wrapped around Snake-Eyes' wrist, forcing him to drop his training sword. Tommy barely had enough time to put the video recorder away before he too was dragged along. "Fearless Master?" He looked up at the man Tommy called 'Father'. "Master, what is going on?"

"Hush!" he hissed as he broke into a run. Snake stumbled to keep up. He could see Tommy with his bag on Fearless Master's other side, also trying not to trip. Neither of them noticed the red light shining.

"Where are we going? Where is he taking us?" Snake whisper-shouted.

"I don't know!" Tommy mouthed back.

Fearless Master went into one of the buildings, nudged aside a _tatami _mat, and opened the trapdoor underneath. "Get in, but _do not touch anything._"

Obediently, both boys dropped down. Snake's back prickled and he shivered. The air was significantly cooler than it was outside.

As soon as Tommy had landed, Fearless Master quietly eased his way in. Looking around carefully, he pulled on a small, specific root sticking out from the dirt and leaned against the wall. Slowly, it spun, revealing a concrete room behind it.

"A safe room," Snake heard himself murmur. From within the room, he could hear what sounded like... soft squirming.

A hand on his shoulder turned him around. "Listen closely, boys." The Fearless Master bent over, his eyes locked on theirs. "We are under attack. As apprentices, you two cannot fight. However, you know enough to guard those who cannot do so themselves."

Tommy reached the conclusion first. "We're _babysitting?!_ Father! Why would you make me-"

"Be quiet! This is not babysitting! This is _protecting._ The enemy shouldn't be able to find this room. It is soundproof, bulletproof, and - as you saw - well camouflaged." He wet his lips, then produced two bundles. "Here are your weapons. Use them wisely if you need to."

Snake took the package with numb and shaking hands. "M-master..."

"Hebi no Me." Fearless Master's voice was a lot more calming as he placed both hands on the boy's shoulder. "Do not be afraid. This place will not be detected, but if it is, do everything you can to defend it."

"Why us?" he tried. "We're just kids! Why can't you get someone more... trained?"

The man paused, and Snake guessed that he heard swords clanging. "All those who have adequately trained are out there, where they are most useful. You are not yet ready to be on the battlefield, but you know how to use some weapons. Hear me?"

Snake-Eyes nodded, his body frozen.

"Remember: this place is not supposed to be discovered. You two are here as back-up." The man turned to Tommy and gave him a quick hug. "Keep each other strong. I'll come back when the fighting is over."

And with that, he gently nudged the two boys in and pushed the door shut.

Slowly, Snake looked around. The room was lit by candles, the warm light strongly contrasting with the atmosphere. He could see a few people shifting around. At the moment, Snake could make out a few children, several of his fellow students, a handful of wriggling infants, and two heavily pregnant women.

"Tommy?" he whispered after a while.

"Hm?" The boy dug into the bundle provided and began strapping various knives and weapons onto himself.

"Tommy, how long do you think the attack will last?" Snake watched his friend's fingers fly.

"I do not know." Tommy's last throwing knife disappeared into place and he began equipping Snake. "Minutes, hours, maybe days."

"Days?!"

"Probably not days."

Snake couldn't repress a shiver when Tommy slipped a knife into a hidden sheath on the inside of his _gi._ He didn't want to think about what might happen should the knife fall out or the sheath break.

"Here you go." Tommy pulled two large daggers from the bag and handed one to Snake. "We're too young to handle actual swords, so these will have to do."

Snake-Eyes stayed quiet as he carefully studied the weapon. It weighed about the same as his training sword, but wouldn't leave just a bruise should it strike flesh. His head swam nauseatingly, and bile ran up his throat. He could kill someone. And somewhere, beyond the protective walls of the safe room, was someone who probably wielded the same weapon; someone who wouldn't hesitate to kill him should they meet. The thought sickened him, and he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"What if they find us?" he heard himself asking.

"They won't."

"But what if-"

"Idiot!" Tommy hissed. "They will _not _find us! And if they do, we'll kill them. Do not jinx the situation!"

He watched his brother's blue eyes grew wide. Snake's heart pounded in his ears, and he felt too hot for comfort. "Kill?" he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Us? Kill?"

"We're going to have to eventually. It's part of being in a ninja clan. Clan wars and vendettas do happen, and when they do, you have to be willing to take a life to save your own or a clan member's."

Killing. Voluntary taking of another human being's life. To take something so precious and rip it away from someone all in the name of honor and surviving. He couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to be the holder of a blade as it went through blood, muscles, and organs. What would it sound like? A horrible squelching noise as red liquid ran down his weapon? What about the person? Chances are, he wouldn't be able to see their last expression, since ninjas wore masks, but what about their eyes? Would they be filled with terror? Disbelief? Hatred?

He didn't want it. He didn't want to stand over a corpse knowing that he had taken the person's life.

One of the women flinched hard and two babies began quietly crying when a loud _clang!_ resounded around the room. Snake didn't move to pick up his dagger.

"Brother?" Tommy crawled over and touched Snake's hand. It felt colder than normal, and it trembled violently. "Brother, are you alright?"

"Why couldn't they assign someone more qualified for this?" he blurted out, gasping as he fought panic.

"Have you not been listening to my father?" Tommy demanded, leveling a glare at him. "The well-trained ones are outside defending the compound. We'll be more useful here."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"What are you _talking _about? It makes perfect sense! Why put trained ninja to guard just ONE hidden safe room when they can be fighting to protect everybody?"

Snake shook his head, his eyes wide and fearful. "No, no, no... I can't... Tommy... I can't. I can't do this. _Ican'tdothis_. I just can't!"

"Snake-Eyes..." Tommy began.

He wasn't listening. "I can't take a life. No, no! I'm only nine years old! I can't kill someone. I cannot!"

"Brother, look at me."

Snake gripped Tommy's shoulders, his hands balling up into fists. His entire body shook as his voice rose in pitch and speed. "I can't, Tommy. I'm scared. _I'mscared._ Nonono. Tommy, don't let me die! I can't die! I'm only nine! Don't let me die. Don't let me die. I cannot. I canno-"

His head was suddenly wrenched to the side, and his left cheek stung. Snake blinked, his mind a muddled haze. Before he could process what had just happened, Tommy grabbed him roughly and straightened him up. Two hands pressed against each side of his head, with the thumbs at his temples. Snake tried to pull away, but found that he could not.

Tommy's dark eyes stared into his. "Listen, and listen closely, you stupid _gaijin._" His voice was firm and even. "I'm _insulted _that you believe that I'll let you _die._ You, Hebi no Me, are NOT going to die. Not if I'm alive. If anybody wants to kill you, they'll have to kill me first. And I'm _impossible_ to kill."

Snake heard a broken-sounded laugh, then suddenly recognized it as his own. "You're impossible to kill?"

"Yes! I _am _my father's son, and nobody can kill my father. If I don't die, then you won't die." He tilted his head. "Have courage and faith, Snake-Eyes," he whispered. "I am your brother. I won't let you die."

"Same here."

Tommy grinned his goofy grin. "I expected as much." Exhaling, he removed his hands. "Feeling better?"

"Much, yes." Snake gingerly touched his temples. "I need to work on keeping calm." He smiled.

Suddenly, Tommy sprang to his feet, dagger brandished. Snake copied him, although his body was still unsteady from the panic attack. "What is it?" he whispered.

His friend answered just as quietly. "See that red light?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't remember us having a red light in here..."

Both boys stayed very still, daring the red light to move or blink. "Is it a bomb?" Snake finally asked.

"I don't think so. Bombs wouldn't have lights attached to them. It'll attract unwanted attention."

Slowly, the two approached, weapons out and ready to strike should anything happen. Then, suddenly, Tommy gave a loud, long groan.

Snake lowered his guard a bit. "What is it?"

Tommy got on his knees, fumbled through the bag, and grabbed the source of the light. "Stupid video camera," he grumbled. "I forgot to turn it off."

He pressed the 'stop' button.

_:Finish Video: _


	5. First Kiss

Jinx stepped out of the shower, sighing deeply in relief. Weddings were stressful, even for those not getting married. Junko had been dragging her everywhere, shopping for everything from her dress to flowers to _saké._ And whatever her cousin couldn't be bothered with, such as seating arrangements, generally became hers to deal with.

She hummed contentedly as she slipped into a comfortable silk kimono. At the very least, she had a few hours before she was needed again, so she decided to take the opportunity to relax a bit and maybe talk with Shana and Junko, if they weren't busy.

Walking silently, she made her way to the kitchen, where the tea leaves were stored - well, most of them. It was no secret that some Arashikage ninjas jealously guarded personal stashes of exotic tea, and any left in the kitchen were usually brewed for a casual relaxing drink.

Jinx carefully measured out a small pile of tea leaves and poured some hot water into a teapot. Carrying the tray with a teacup and teapot, she made her way back to her room.

The sound of quiet talking emanated from the room to her left. Curious, she stopped and listened; she recognized Shana and Junko's voices, and - judging by their light tone and occasional giggle - sounded like they were having fun.

She nudged the door open with her foot. The giggling and talking immediately stopped as the redhead and bride-to-be stared at her, their expressions amused with a tinge of guilt. "What's this? A party and I'm not invited?" Jinx pretended to look insulted as she set the tray down.

"It... kinda just happened." Junko smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Scarlett looked at the teapot. "Ooh, tea! May we have some?"

"You may if you get your own teacups and let me join you." Jinx collapsed on the sofa with a grin.

"I'll get the cups." Scarlett immediately stood up and briskly walked out the door.

"Thanks, Red!" Junko called after her before turning to Jinx. "Okay - we found a boxful of videos from when Snake and Tommy were little, and so far, they've been pretty funny."

Jinx stuck out her tongue. "Did I appear yet?"

"Yep." Junko beamed. "You were one cute baby, and your mother was beautiful."

"Yeah, she was."

It took a second before Junko's jaw dropped in realization. "... Oh. Right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The past cannot be changed." Jinx took a sip of her tea.

Scarlett reentered the room, smiling and proudly holding out two teacups. "I'm back! What did I miss?"

"Nothing. I just told Kimi what we were watching." Junko took the teacup offered to her and filled it almost to the top with tea. "Ohh... this is nice," she mumbled as she drank the hot liquid.

Scarlett put her cup down and rummaged through the box. "Oh, hey, look at this." She held up a tape labeled, 'First kiss.' "This one looks _really _interesting." She smirked.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Junko curled up on the couch, her eyes fixed on the screen eagerly. "Put it in! Let's watch it."

* * *

_:Commencing video:_

"Hey." Tommy grinned as he waved at the camera lens. "It's me - Tomisaburo. Today..." He quickly glanced at calendar. "... is the twenty-fifth of March, and it's Snake-Eyes' first competition." He paused, considering. "Actually, it's my first competition too, but I'm already finished. I won, of course." The camera jiggled as he stood up, carrying it. "Let's go see how our favorite _gaijin _is handling the stress. Come on."

Snake-Eyes bounced lightly on his feet, barely managing to fight his panic. _Ohgodohgodohgod. _He couldn't blow this - his first competition! His first real chance to show everyone that he was as good as any Arashikage student. If he lost...

He didn't even want to think about it. Bad enough last night had been filled with nightmares of dishonoring the Arashikage and shaming himself in front of the entire Mizu clan. More bad thoughts were _so _not welcome.

"Hebi no Me!"

Snake looked. Tommy was walking towards him, waving, and holding...

Aw, hell no.

"Now is _not_ a good time," he hissed as he stretched for what was probably the fourth time. "I'm a little busy. Wait until after the event!"

"Hello, Snake-Eyes!" Tommy announced cheerfully. "How are you today?"

Snake sighed. "... Alright, I suppose. A little nervous for the competition, but that's it."

"Sweet. Where are you from?"

The blond raised an eyebrow. "Is this going to be one of those fake interviews? 'Cause if it is, then I'm from the land of Tommy-stop-fooling-around."

"Where are you from?" Tommy repeated, wearing a huge smile.

Rolling his eyes, Snake began jogging in place. "America."

"Can we expect you to be the champion of our proud clan tonight?" Tommy pretended to hold a microphone out at him.

_Shoot. _Snake felt moisture beading on his forehead. "I-I don't know. I'll definitely try, but I don't think I can do better than you did this morning. "

"How nervous are you, good sir?" His friend was obviously enjoying seeing him so on edge.

A shaky laugh. "Pretty nervous, as you can see."

"What will you do if you fail? Will you commit _seppuku_?"

Snake stopped jogging to glare at him. "Tommy! _Seppuku_? Really? Over a little competition?"

"Hey, that's how the samurai do it."

"Well, I'm _not _a samurai."

"Good. Their rules suck. I mean, seriously, why would you directly confront a man who wants to kill you? Slip into his room, sprinkle a little poison into his tea, and he won't bother you anymore. Saves time, energy, and a good blade."

Shaking his head slowly, Snake rolled his shoulders and wrists. "I'm not even going to comment on that." He leaned to his left and looked over his brother's shoulder. "You might wanna brace yourself."

"Yeah, I know." The camera in Tommy's hands shook violently as an energetic mass of little kids ran into the back of his legs. Jumbled, excited Japanese filled the air, but he could just make out the words, "sun," "blue," and "_gaijin_."

Carefully setting the camera down on a nearby table, he turned around cautiously and picked out a familiar face in the swarm. "Kimi Arashikage, why are you and your friends here? And where is Aunt Misao? She's supposed to be watching over you."

The little girl crossed her arms and frowned up at her cousin. "They wanted to see Snake-Eyes. It's not my fault. And mama is busy helping with food."

"Me?" Snake piped up.

"Yes, you - the Arashikage _gaijin_." Tommy sighed as he gently pried a small fist from his pants. "Most of the children you see behind me have never seen a foreigner, and you can't get more 'foreign' than blond hair and blue eyes." He felt a pinch. "Oh, for the love of... Let go of me, will you? He's not going to eat you, kill you, or turn into a dragon - although that would be pretty cool."

"Arashikage-san..." The small boy trembled as he peeked at Snake-Eyes from the safety of Tommy's leg. The foreigner looked so strange! His hair reminded him of hay, and his eyes held the sky in them. And his face just looked... different. "Where did he come from?"

At Tommy's expectant look, Snake cleared his throat and spoke in Japanese. "I'm from America."

He did not expect the group to explode into giggles and squeals. "He knows Japanese!" "Ooh, that's weird!" "He sounds funny!" "Say something else, _gaijin!_"

Snake licked his lips to moisturize them. "Actually, my name is Hebi no Me, not... _gaijin_."

More giggles. Snake internally groaned and glanced at the clock. His competition was going to start soon. "I have to go now. If you want, you can meet me afterwards. Alright? Alright. Bye." He spun on his heel and started walking away.

"Wait! Hebi!" a voice he recognized as Kimi's called out.

He looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"

With a little difficulty, she wriggled out of the group and ran towards him, her steps quick and fast. Out of habit, Snake turned around, squatted, and spread his arms. She crashed into him, almost knocking him over. "Don't get hurt," she mumbled into his shoulder as she clung to him with all her might.

Slowly, Snake eased himself down until he was sitting on the ground. "I'll try not to, Kimi. No promises, though."

"Don't die!"

A small sigh. "There's a significant difference between getting hurt and dying, you know."

Somehow, the girl managed to tighten her grip around his neck. "NO DYING!"

"Okay, okay, okay. Not gonna die." Snake sounded a little wheezy and strained. "Kimi, I can't breathe well. Let go, please?"

With a huff, she loosened her arms but didn't let go. Then, to Tommy's surprise and Snake's horror, she pulled herself up...

... and gave Snake a nice big kiss right on the lips.

Tommy exploded into laughter as Snake actually fell over, stunned into silence. "Kimi! Bad girl! He's.. he's your cousin!" he gasped as he clutched his stomach with one hand and the table with the other to keep from falling. "Oh, god! Snake, was that your _first_ kiss?" When Snake didn't respond, he only laughed more. "Did I get that? Please, let me get that..." he scrambled over to the camera and looked at it. The red light was still shining. "HELL, YES! SNAKE! I'll haunt you FOREVER with this footage!"

"You son-of-a..." Snake mumbled, still in shock and staring up at the ceiling. With all the calmness of a cat waking up from a nap, Kimi got up off of him, casually dusted herself off, and strolled back to the group of shrieking children as if nothing happened.

His words and Kimi's actions only threw Tommy into another fit of gasps and coughs. "Kimi! Why did you do that?"

"He needs a good-luck kiss," she responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"One on the cheek would have sufficed..." That was Snake, who was just starting to get up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Awww... then how come I didn't get one?" Tommy pretended to look hurt, but ultimately failed when he couldn't stop chuckling.

Snake gagged. "You actually _want _a kiss from her?!"

Innocently, Kimi looked at her cousin. "I was still asleep," she replied honestly. "When I woke up, mama told me you won."

"... Oh. Well, can I get a victory kiss, then?"

"Okay." Kimi waited until Tommy got down to her height then placed a small hand on his shoulders. Standing on tiptoes, she brought herself up and planted a tiny kiss on his cheek.

"How come he got a small one on the cheek and _I _got a big one on the mouth?" Snake groaned, straightening his uniform. His face was flushed red.

"I'll give you a victory kiss if you win!" the little girl chirped.

For the briefest moment, Snake was sorely tempted to lose on purpose. His thoughts must have reflected on his face, because Tommy roared in another bout of laughter. "I... I should go. The competition starts in a few minutes." He ducked his head and backed away until he reached the door and disappeared behind it.

"Ha... have fun, Romero!" Tommy called out, snickering, as he leaned against a beam for support. "Don't disappoint Juliet! You know she'll be watching!"

Before he could stop himself, Snake reopened the door and glared at his brother. "It's _Romeo_, not _Romero!_"

Tommy couldn't reply. He was too busy gasping for breath, his stomach aching from laughter.

_:Finish Video: _

* * *

Jinx barely heard the cackles and snorts beside her - she was too busy staring at the screen in utter horror. "I don't recall any of this..." she muttered.

"But I'm sure Snake does!" Junko put her head down on the couch armrest in an effort to control her laughter.

Eyes widening, Jinx's red face turned several shades darker. "... Shit, you're right. At the time he was... twelve?"

"And you were four!" Scarlett rested her forehead in her hand as she chortled uncontrollably. "Of course you don't remember!"

Shrinking into the couch, Jinx took a pillow and hugged it to herself, still blushing as Scarlett went on. "I've always wondered who gave Snake his first kiss, and now I know! It was little cute YOU!" She tugged on the Asian woman's cheek.

"Not my fault! We all did stupid things when we were kids!"

Junko suddenly shot up, a wide grin on her face. "Hey! We should show Snake this video!"

Her jaw dropped in shock. "Don't you _dare_, Junko Akita!"

"One, you got my last name wrong. Two, you're no longer Snake's apprentice, so what do you have to lose?"

Jinx groaned. "Your last name isn't Arashikage _yet_, and I don't want to be embarrassed in front of my former teacher!_" _

"Actually, I think Snake-Eyes would be more embarrassed," Scarlett joined in. "After all, he was the one with the _hilarious_ reactions."

"Not you too!" Jinx shot the older woman a pleading look. "Please, Shana? Have a little mercy."

"Mercy? Since when did ninjas have mercy?," Scarlett teased, smiling good-naturedly. "Alright, fine. I won't show him."

Junko took a sip from her teacup to hide her smile. From her point of view, she could see Shana crossing her fingers behind her back.


	6. Sick

_:Commencing video:_

The camera shook violently as small, inexperienced hands held it tightly. The holder grunted quietly as she grabbed the edge of the door and slid it open, though all that could be seen was the bottom edge of the door and the tatami mats on the floor. "Tommy! Tooooommy!" she called out.

White completely covered the lenses. "What, Kimi? What are you doing here?" someone snapped. "What the-? Don't hold the camera so low."

"I wanna see Hebi no Me," she responded honestly, pointing the camera up at her cousin, who frowned. "Cousin, how is he?"

Tomisaburo sighed before walking back into the room. "Come see for yourself."

Gingerly, Kimi tiptoed in. The room was neat, small, and had two sleeping mattresses - one for Snake, and one for Tommy. Both ninjas-in-training had told her that the masters had arranged for them to share a room to make sure they learned how to get along, but Kimi was convinced it was so that they could protect each other from monsters.

Her cousin kneeled gracefully and placed a hand on his brother's forehead. "Still burning," he informed her as he tucked Snake's blankets tighter around him. "Hebi," he called quietly. "Kimi is here to see you."

Snake-Eyes looked terrible. His face was flushed with heat, and he looked incredibly weary. Very slowly, he turned his head. Unfocused eyes stared at Kimi before the corners of his mouth twitched briefly upwards. "Ki... Kim-" he was interrupted by a coughing fit, his body shaking from the effort.

"Maybe it's better if you don't speak for a while," Tommy suggested as he patted his brother on the chest. "Kimi, when is Healer coming?"

"Right now." The door slid open, followed by the slightly spicy scent of herbs.

The camera jiggled then suddenly went still as the little girl placed it down and ran over to the man. "Healer!" she chirped, hugging him before looking up at him seriously. "Hebi no Me is not feeling well."

"I can tell." Healer stroked Kimi's hair affectionately before gently nudging her aside. "When did this happen?" He approached the mattress. Kimi scrambled to pick up the camera and hold it in his direction.

"I... I don't know," Tommy confessed as he watched the man produce a thermometer and pop it in Snake's mouth. "I think he's been hiding it until he collapsed earlier today during training. I heard you were busy, so I dragged him here and waited for you instead."

"Has he done anything between then and now?" Healer took the thermometer out and frowned at it.

"Other than moan? No." Straining a little, Tommy tried to read the thermometer. "So, just how bad off is he?"

Very gently, Healer felt around Snake-Eyes' throat. "Not too bad, but not too good either." After donning a pair of gloves, he got out a swab. "I'm just going to do a nasal swab. Nothing to be afraid of," he told the boy. "It's not going to hurt."

Tommy snorted as he patted his brother reassuringly on the arm. "Usually, when doctors say that, it ends up hurting like hell."

Healer didn't comment. Kimi couldn't hold back an, "Ewwwwww..." at the scene that unfolded before her eyes.

"See?" The clan doctor slipped the swab into a tube and tightly capped it. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"THAT WAS GROSS!"

A hand clamped down tightly on Kimi's mouth as Snake winced at the loud noise. "Is this how you show your respect for him?" Tommy gently scolded. "By screaming when he's not feeling well?"

Kimi's eyes widened. "S-sorry," she whimpered, but couldn't hold back a yelp when Healer unexpectedly tossed a bundle at Tommy.

Without looking, he caught it, and immediately wrinkled his nose. "... His medicine, I presume?"

"No, just something to help him feel better until I can determine what he needs." He peeled his gloves off. "Steep the leaves for five minutes and have him drink it. Add honey if it is too bitter."

"Thank you," Tommy breathed.

Healer shrugged. "What kind of a clan healer doesn't look after his own clan?" He walked out the door, but poked his head back in. "Alert me if he gets any worse."

"Can do."

The door slid shut. "Is he going to die?" Kimi couldn't help asking.

"I highly doubt it. It's just a little sickness." A musky, almost-tangy scent rose from the bundle when Tommy untied it. "What _is _this?" He picked up a dried, shriveled leaf and examined it.

A series of coughs caught his attention. "Aww, I know you feel awful, sweetie," Tommy teased as he patted the blond's forehead. "Wait right here. Uncle Tommy is going to go make something that will help you feel better."

"Bastard," Snake grumbled miserably as he watched him stand up.

Kimi set the camera down and immediately attached herself to her cousin. "Can I be Aunt Kimi? Please? Pleaaaaase?"

A laugh escaped him before he could hold it in. "Kimi, I was just messing around with Snake's head. I'm not going to actually act like an uncle."

"... Oh." The little girl looked disappointed. "Okay."

Tommy stroked her head. "However, could you watch over him while I go make him some tea?"

Her eyes lit up. "Okay!" She eagerly sat down by Snake again, patting his cheek and crooning words of comfort while Tommy smirked and disappeared down the hallway.

_:End video:_

* * *

_:Commencing video:_

"... Leave it running like that. You'll just be wasting batteries for no good reason."

Tuning her cousin out, Kimi stared at the camera. "... YAY! It's on!"

"And recording," Tommy sighed. "You know, you don't have to record _everything_..."

"But I want to!" Grabbing the camera, she trotted off towards Snake and Tommy's room, closely followed by the grumbling teenager. "Hebi no Me is going to feel better..." she chirped on the way.

Snake forced his eyes open when he heard footsteps. "Food?" he muttered.

"This?" Tommy held out the steaming bowl of herbal tea. "I don't know if this qualifies as food. Are you hungry?"

"No." Grunting, he propped himself up on his elbows. The room seemed to immediately tilt, and he struggled not to collapse back on his pillow.

"Easy, easy..." His friend's arm was immediately around his shoulders, supporting him. "Is it getting worse? Do I need to call Healer?"

"No to both." Snake coughed, his body shuddering as Tommy and Kimi helped him sit up. He stared warily at the sharp-smelling drink presented to him. "Did you make this?"

"Can I boil water? Yes. Can I pour? Yes."

"Smart aleck." He reached for the bowl, only to have it moved out of reach.

Tommy arched an eyebrow. "Are you going to drop it?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." Another coughing fit.

"Okaaay..."

Snake could barely keep his hands from shaking as he took the bowl. His chest and throat itched with the urge to cough, and he felt really, really tired. Taking a deep breath, he unsteadily brought the bowl to his lips.

"Yeah. I didn't think so." Once again, the bowl was taken away from him. Tommy gave him a told-you-so smile as he settled down into a comfortable position. Something hot touched his lips, and Snake stared wearily at the liquid-filled spoon. "Well, Snakey? You going to drink this or did I waste my time brewing this?"

Frowning, he took a sip. And promptly wish he hadn't.

Kimi looked on worriedly as the Caucasian began to cough loudly. "Hebi?"

"Bitter!" he gasped, doing his best to glare at the remaining tea in the spoon.

"Really?" Unwisely, Tommy also took a sip and struggled not to make a face. "Uhh... wow." Clearing his throat, he stood up. "I'll go get the honey. Kimi, turn that camera off and make sure Snake doesn't start vomiting or something. It's not polite to record a sick person."

"Awww..." Kimi lifted one of Snake's hands and awkwardly waved it at the camera. "Bye!"

_:End Video:_

* * *

**A/N:** I'll be honest - I have no idea what Healer gave him. Then again, most Asian medicines are made with weird stuff (cupping therapy, anyone?). My mom used to (and still will!) give me _extremely _bitter liquid to swallow and the taste would remain in my mouth for hours. To this day, I have no idea what the liquid is or what it does; I just know that it freakin' works.


End file.
